I'm so fucking mad at myself right now. I mean how could I.
I had the audacity to just imagine how pathetic my... no Bastard is right now then of COURSE I think up the scenario of showing up at Bastard's door. I can imagine that house swallowing me and me never coming out. Ive already been over this with myself I'd rather fucking die than go back.
I have control now. I decide; and I decide that Bastard can rot for the years of anger and despair he inflicted while claiming to be the victim. I was just a child for fucks sake you can't blame a child for all that crap.
I still feel like an emotionally stunted teenager. Oh wait I am still a teenager...fuck. welp not for long I guess.
In other newssss I am hopelessly eternally screwed. If this shit happens again I will not stand for it. Check in next week for my next existential crisis.
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