I still hate the sun

Wowee it's been over a year since my great disappearence from the place I grew up at. Funny how I got here. I'm in a completely different place. Despite all the bullshit going on I still have control. In the end I make the decisions. I was so angry, sad and afraid a year ago counting the days. 

But anyway fuck all that, I went outside for the one time it wasn't dark out or sunrise and I hated it. Its bright and hurts my eyes. I hate living where the sun and air is trying to kill me. I'm going to move out of state one day I swear. Because I know actually there won't be anything for me here anymore despite how that scares me because it's inevitable. 

Change is unavoidable and constantly around the corner.  I hope it's coming again soon. I mean seriously I want the rest of my optimism back haha.

Rip job

They're supposed to open in a week but I don't even have an email or schedule. I guess they don't want me haha can't blame them. So when are they going to fire me already.

Besides that I just hope I don't get cancer or consumed by self loathing. Yeahhhh I probably need a therapist. Fat lot of good that's going to do.