The future is looking nice and all

But I feel like things will go wrong again. I keep feeling like a shit person and falling inti my old habits of self loathing. Things don't feel right or colorful like before and it just seems empty. It's been over a week and the more I forget the more I regret and hate myself. I keep looking at photos that I took of her and I hate how I failed despite doing everything right and Im scared I'll fail again of lose something important to me again, because nothing is really fair here.