So soon after the last post too. I finally, finally received the reports on all the child abuse cases from the department of children and families. I just wanted to use them as proof I came from an abusive environment (for financial aid purposes), but it turns out they're confidential. Yipee. Well I still have them, so.
Looking at them honestly made me sick. Having to read through all 4 reports (I only thought there were two, what the hell) was really... something. Did not like having to remember a bunch of that stuff and reading through comments on my mental state and habits.
Also turns out there was a report of sexual abuse for when I was less than a year old. That was the first thing I saw when I opened the damn thing. Confusing, because is this the right document?? Horrifying, because I wasn't fucking raped, right? Hopefully not, cause I don't remember anything implying that, plus the case was closed. Nothing happened.
I still feel horrible.
The second to last report, he never actually complied despite what they think. He claimed he was going to do something, but he didn't. It wasn't uncommon for him to make so many false promises. Up unto when I was 18, graduated Highschool. Finally moved out, turns out you can wait for someone to fulfill their promises for only so long.
So now I figure out how to override dependency. I can handle tuition without aid, but if I don't qualify as a resident... yeah, no, I can't afford that.
I'm just going to put this all down and hopefully forget about it until the college and child services contacts me back on all this bullshit. I just wish that all the stuff I went through ended like I hoped it would when I moved out and cut contact.
I guess it's only over when he'd dead.
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