Over 8 months of going nowhere but at least I'm somewhere

I'm only working part time for 11 dollars, no car or license, no school or insurance or healthcare. In general, I feel like I'm fucked in the long run. Right now I'm good, but it's unavoidable. I can't stay here forever and keep the people I love and rely on. Eventually I could get cancer, since it probably runs in the family. Crippling dept and chemo could always be on the horizon. Stability isn't constant. 

8 months of freedom, mostly being content. No more burdensom anger and grief. How long will this last? How long until I lose my pillars of support, my only family and friends? My grief and bitterness for my long dead mother may be gone finally (at least I think) but how long until it's replaced with something fresher. In the end I will be alone. Because I never really was good at making friends. 

At least I'm happy for now. No longer in that festering shit hole. I rode the bus past there a few days ago and did everything not to look at the street going to the neighborhood. Like it doesn't exist. Like it never did. Like I never did. Sometimes I feel like an empty space, just blending in the background. Am I really here? Am I really better? Maybe just the place changed.